Friday, January 2, 2009

Major wake-up call

I have had one rough week! It started Sunday morning and all goes back to Sunday morning the more I think about it! Sunday morning's sermon was entitled, "Refocusing On Our Focus". I'll get back to that in a minute. I'm not going to go into every detail about my week, just the major points. I guess it all started last Monday when I thought I was going to have a date to my cousin's wedding this past Saturday. I was talking to a guy I work with since September and we did somethings that I have to admit are not something to be proud of to some it up in a nutshell. He had to work Saturday morning, like he does every Saturday morning and couldn't go with me to the wedding. It worked out for the best that he didn't go, because it was just me, my mom, and grandmother in the car on Saturday. He would have been the only guy in the car. Anyway, I texted him Monday night and let him know what time we were leaving Saturday morning. We were leaving at 9 and he didn't get off until 10:30. The wedding was in Roanoke Rapids, almost 4 hours away, including the distance from here to Little Washington to pick up my grandmother. He got mad at me and didn't want to talk to me anymore, because he couldn't go. He started texting me again on Wednesday. He called me Saturday while I was at the reception and I missed his call. I texted him a couple of times on the way to the wedding. I had my phone on silent during the wedding and the reception, so it wouldn't interrupt anything. Friday night, I went to work and another guy called me at work for 2 hours straight every 5 minutes. I met this guy on mobile about 2 years ago and have changed my cell phone number at least 3 times because of him! We called the police on him and he talked to the police officer like it was a game! The police officer did a search on his name and address and neither one came up and nothing close to it. He's either not using his real name or made up his address. I didn't get much sleep that night after work. I was a nervous wreck! I wasn't completely myself at the wedding on Saturday. I talked to people I went to school with at RBC and wanted to say a lot more than I did, but I was so tired that I was thinking more than I was talking! On the way back to my grandmother's house, my music minister called my mom and asked if I would run the computer the next morning for the worship service and I told him I would. I usually like to go to praise team practice on Wednesday night and be well prepared. I asked him to put the music by the computer for me while I was on the phone with him. I knew that I would have to do the songs and the sermon during Sunday School the next morning, so I knew I was going to be a nervous wreck again. I didn't sleep well that night and still went to bed early. I got to church Sunday morning and the sermon notes were nowhere to be found at the computer. Luckily, the minister was a few feet away from me that I could ask him where they were and he told me he would print out another copy for me! While he was gone, I started entering the songs. Thankfully we were doing songs that I knew were in SongShow, the program we use, and I wouldn't have to look very hard for them! A few of the songs were even saved with backgrounds already, another plus! I had to set only a few backgrounds. I had most of the sermon done up until the last slide before the service started. I was able to finish it during meet and greet time after the first 2 songs. I was behind a verse on the first song and one of the elders came back to me and said, "Having trouble keeping up?" I just smiled and said, "I have it!" He was more concerned about the thermostat that anything else. I was trying to finish the sermon during the first song. It came time for the sermon and was going through the sermon when I realized I had one of the major points wrong. His points were: "Forget Your Past, Focus on Your Priorities, & Function in the Present". I had typed Forget Your Priorities and caught it before I flashed it on the screen. I actually skipped that slide! He had a summary slide at the end and I had to fix that, too! LOL My mom came back home during Sunday School, because she didn't have anyone show up for her class and my stepdad has been sick with pneumonia sick last Monday. She found someone to bring me home before she left. I went through the afternoon and got a nap before work and overslept, I forgot to set my alarm, thus I was late to work, only by a couple of minutes. I had a better night at work that night and didn't hear from "my guy" until just before I went to work Sunday afternoon. He was busy watchin football all afternoon. We were going to spend New Year's Eve together. We were going to meet at the gas station at the entrance to my subdivision to buy snacks for the night or the 4 hours that he would have been here. He doesn't drive a vehicle, he rides a bike, is why we would have met at the store. Anyway, we were going to watch Dark Knight and then watch the New Year's festivities on TV. I went to work Tuesday night and told people after work my plans for New Year's Eve. A woman I work with that is known to spread gossip went back into working the next morning and rubbed it in his face, so to speak, that she knew about our plans. He got mad and sent me a text at 8:30 telling me that he didn't appreciate me opening my big mouth and telling our plans. I texted him back and told him that she was backstabbing me and not to listen to her. The longer I laid in bed thinking about her backstabbing me the madder I got. I got so mad that I cried! I started texting a friend and was pouring my heart out to her, but was thinking evil stuff and she was comforting me through her texts. It's amazing how much texting can help when you really need someone but don't want to speak or can't speak in my case since I was crying so hard! I finally stopped crying and stopped blowing up my friend's phone! I got some sleep again finally! He got off work at 10:30 and called me at 10:41 and I missed his call. I was dreaming he had texted me or someone texted me (I'm trying to ask you some questions) right before I woke up and saw I had missed his call. God may have been speaking to me and I thought I saw it in my phone, but it never was, I looked! I had my ringer turned down and forgot to turn it back up before I went to bed. I tried calling him back and he wouldn't answer. Finally, he texts me and tells me to stop textin and calling me or he was going to call the police on me! So, I do. I start texting my friend again and tell her what he said and she was just as surprised as I was. I finally get up and go into the kitchen where my stepdad was and tell him about my morning. I was mad! My mom came home from lunch and I told her the same thing. He told me that it's not good to date anyone you work with. We never were dating, we were just talking. My mom advised me to never talk to him again and if he tried to text me again just ignore him. I got through yesterday afternoon and last night and didn't hear from him. I worked on scrapbook pages of my brother Tyler's 1st birthday and watched Shrek 2 and the Rockin New Year's Eve show on ABC up until 2am. I went to bed, cuz I was exhausted! I got up this morning to watch the Tournament of Roses parade and was fixing my breakfast and "he" texted me and asked what I ended up doing last night. I didn't respond. I went through the day, took a nap around 12:30, and didn't hear from him again until around 7something. So, I texted the friend that I cried to yesterday morning to ask her to tell him to leave me alone. He got mad because I did that. I wasn't going to stoop to his level and give into him and that's exactly what would have happened if I responded to him. I need to wrap up this blog, because it is getting late and I need to get some rest. I talked to a college roommate on the phone tonight and she got me thinking some about my priorities. I haven't talked to her on the phone in a couple of years. I sent her and several others a text at 12 to wish them a happy new year. Then I went back to texting another friend and ended up pouring my heart out to her about what I have learned in the past week. I have learned that I need to start standing up for myself and not let others knock me down. I have also learned that I need to think about my priorities and decide which ones I need to stress more emphasis on. If I keep hanging around the wrong guys it won't do me any good to be the Christian example that I'm supposed to be. I have been thinking about this past Sunday's sermon all week without realizing it. I need to learn to "Forget my Past"- forget my mistakes, repent, learn from them, and move on. I'm beginning to "Focus on my Priorities" and think more about them. I also have to learn to stop procrastinating in my schooling and a lot of other things to "Function in the Present". Little did I know Sunday morning that this sermon would be lived out through me this week! I hope I didn't confuse anyone with this by not naming any names. I thought it would be best.